Wisdom From Seinfeld and Larry David

If you ask me, Seinfeld was one of the best shows ever on television. Curb Your Enthusiasm is right up there for the same set of reasons. I like these shows primarily because they thrive on making comedy out of annoying, awkward, and even mundane daily occurrences. Somehow, they make an average day on this Earth just a little more amusing. Whether its the lady at Dunkin’ Donuts that can’t control her rambunctious kid or the guy sitting in the nice restaurant wearing a bright green bluetooth headset, life is freakin’ funny!

Oftentimes, these shows will focus on something that really resonates with me, and it forever changes the way I interpret that situation whenever it occurs in my life. Here’s an example. I was watching one of the Seinfeld episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm (season 7) where Larry and Jerry were discussing how the phrase, “Now that said…”, pretty much sets you up to negate everything you said previously. For instance: “I really think you’re pretty and you’re a great kisser. Now that said….(insert insult)…..” Hilarious! I know I won’t be using that phrase much anymore. Anyway, this reminded me of some other phrases and ways of wording things that tend to set you up to contradict yourself. Here are two that really grind my gears (channeling Peter Griffin).

“No offense but…..”

This one hardly needs explanation. We all know that whatever follows “No offense but….” is going to absolutely without a doubt offend the person you’re saying it to. No offense but your breath stinks. No offense but cargo shorts are not fashionable. What’s really annoying about it, is most people use it to help soften the blow. Unfortunately, all it does is say, “I’m about to say something shitty, and here it is!”

“Just sayin'”

This is one that I have griped about numerous times. It is often said after saying something insulting, annoying, petty, or witty (or so they think). But you want to know what I picture when I hear this phrase? A 16 year old girl in pig tails texting on her phone and snapping gum. “Like oh my god! Can you believe she is going out with him? He’s such a douche. Just sayin’!” So if you don’t mind that image snapping into my head (and probably others) go ahead and keep using that phrase. Although it grinds my gears, it also makes me giggle.

Now that said, if you happen to be a 16 year old girl, you’re good to go….no offense.

16 thoughts on “Wisdom From Seinfeld and Larry David

  1. That picture of you in your header is hilarious. Now that said. You are really goofy looking. J/K.

    But seriously. That was one that rubbed me wrong for years thanks to my instructor in tech school. She would use in constantly, often times repetitively. You couldn’t giggle at anything she said, cause she would come back with, “But seriously”. Maybe I don’t take life seriously enough…

  2. On the subject of no offence, I have this in my quotes file. I no longer remember the source, but it illustrates a different yet related bit of verbal jujitsu that people try to pull off.

    “Whenever people say we mustn’t be sentimental, you can take it they are about to do something cruel. And, if they add, we must be realistic,they mean they are going to make money out of it.”
    — Brigid Brophy

  3. “That said” doesn’t bother me… it’s SUPPOSED to indicate an alternate opinion is coming… it’s like “on the other hand”…

    On the other hand, one that I always notice is “With all due respect”… which tends to signal the arrival of something not so much respectful as confrontational… it’s very passive aggressive…

  4. Hey Marc, i am still amazed by Seinfield it finished years ago but how often do you still here phrases from it, early this week i was slamed with a “no soup for you” when i tried to pinch a few hot chips (Fries) from someone at work.

    Cheers
    Warren

  5. how about when people say “honestly” at the beginning of a sentence. Does that mean everything else they say is a lie ??

    BTW, looks like you are getting the hang of this “blogging” thing , you may have a talent for this kind of thing, you should try it some more, it will get you out of your shell some more. I hear there are some great woodworking blogs out there if you know where to look.

  6. I totally agree and want to add the precursor “With all due respect” and the reply of “whatever”. Nothing says “I hear what you are saying and think you are dumb as hell but I don’t have a valid response and this is my way of disrespecting you in lieu of a valid response” like following up a response in an discussion like somebody saying “WHATEVER”

  7. Or the relatively recent use of the word “right?” at the end of every sentence, like the person needs some type of affirmation in regard to what ever it is they are blathering about.
    Just sayin, it’s annoying as hell, right?
    (great blod marc.)

  8. Hilarious that 10 hours earlier that day Christopher Schwarz writes:

    “Note to the U.S. Customs Agents: This photo shows that my tool chest went across the border with me on Wednesday. Just sayin’.”

    β€” Christopher Schwarz

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