Wisdom From Seinfeld and Larry David

If you ask me, Seinfeld was one of the best shows ever on television. Curb Your Enthusiasm is right up there for the same set of reasons. I like these shows primarily because they thrive on making comedy out of annoying, awkward, and even mundane daily occurrences. Somehow, they make an average day on this Earth just a little more amusing. Whether its the lady at Dunkin’ Donuts that can’t control her rambunctious kid or the guy sitting in the nice restaurant wearing a bright green bluetooth headset, life is freakin’ funny!

Oftentimes, these shows will focus on something that really resonates with me, and it forever changes the way I interpret that situation whenever it occurs in my life. Here’s an example. I was watching one of the Seinfeld episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm (season 7) where Larry and Jerry were discussing how the phrase, “Now that said…”, pretty much sets you up to negate everything you said previously. For instance: “I really think you’re pretty and you’re a great kisser. Now that said….(insert insult)…..” Hilarious! I know I won’t be using that phrase much anymore. Anyway, this reminded me of some other phrases and ways of wording things that tend to set you up to contradict yourself. Here are two that really grind my gears (channeling Peter Griffin).

“No offense but…..”

This one hardly needs explanation. We all know that whatever follows “No offense but….” is going to absolutely without a doubt offend the person you’re saying it to. No offense but your breath stinks. No offense but cargo shorts are not fashionable. What’s really annoying about it, is most people use it to help soften the blow. Unfortunately, all it does is say, “I’m about to say something shitty, and here it is!”

“Just sayin'”

This is one that I have griped about numerous times. It is often said after saying something insulting, annoying, petty, or witty (or so they think). But you want to know what I picture when I hear this phrase? A 16 year old girl in pig tails texting on her phone and snapping gum. “Like oh my god! Can you believe she is going out with him? He’s such a douche. Just sayin’!” So if you don’t mind that image snapping into my head (and probably others) go ahead and keep using that phrase. Although it grinds my gears, it also makes me giggle.

Now that said, if you happen to be a 16 year old girl, you’re good to go….no offense.